I'm sorry the truth is hurting right now, I went through that, but with meds you can live a so called normal life, I also learned it is not the end of the world, the more you learn about it and work with your pdoc, it will get better, you'll accept it and as time goes on you will focus less on it and see there are things in life that can be beautiful.
In fact you can learn useful tools that can help channel some of this into something productive.
Okay, I am just sharing my experience, not knowing if this applies to all Bipolars, but being compliant with meds and therapy has changed my life for the better and I hope it will for others here.
Alright I'll stop my ramblings, and send you good wishes for luck with this.
Please take care now,

DE