It's tempting to get back on it sometimes. It would be sweet if my mind knew how to stabilize on its own. The conversation with a new doctor a few days ago went like, "Where's your base line?", and I couldn't keep my mouth shut after that. I told doctors a few times to seek for other possible causes, but I don't faint or anything, no migraines, no pain on the back of my eyes, no shakes in any part of my body, I got nada for symptoms to suspect anything's wrong with my brain or my guts, so the psych doctors weren't as helpful as I wanted them to be, they only know how to prescribe pills.

During back and forth of this evaluation, this young psychiatrist wanted to know where I was from, and then I asked back what the information was for and why it did matter. I could tell by his demeanor that he was just a young professional who couldn't deal directly with the person he was talking with to resolve MY question, and while I was waiting in the hall to be called back again, he was consulting with another doctor saying, "He doesn't want to tell, blah blah blah.".

Why doesn't people take my NO seriously? I'm pretty sure from the name of the hospital that it is funded by the government, where did my liberty and free speech go? Never forget that doctors work for you, and not the other way around or else you could be taken advantage of. There was no possible hellish withdrawal warnings when the talk of medication started, what happened to the difficulties of diagnosing bipolar? The psych department of this hospital simply refuse to be accurate in their work, how else am I supposed to assess what happened in their office?

Psychologists can work without disorder names 'being branded' on me. My country doesn't have them in medical practice, I searched for them and the few that exists were crooks. Why can't they perform a medical observation for certain period of time? My memory is not great, I didn't answer for the questions which I didn't have an answer for. I am an honest dude, the second guy asked 'how criminal I am', not in those exact words but he did good. So, y'know, I don't understand why sometimes people complain about the public perception of mentally disordered people, doctors have a good reason to ask that type of question, and as for normal people, it might be best to leave them alone. Those people who try to spread accurate information about mental disorders cannot predict future criminal behaviors of a person. Social and political interests lies elsewhere, I don't have a privileged point of view regarding mental health. People look stupid to us for many things, I don't get this 'craze' that's been around for decades now.

Do I expect kinder society for mentally disabled? It's a tough question to answer. People can pretend and lie, it only takes a good actor. Making up a new protected class of people, in another words, to make mental disability merged into the class of 'being disabled' means to discriminate with our arbitrary standard. Human behaviors are recognized as such, in human society. The way I prefer to look at this might be the ones that I need to think for low IQ people. We can't make them any more functional than they already are, and I would like to see the society to change to function alongside with them.

Can a topic like mental health taboo be just confidencial between a doctor and a patient? From where I'm sitting, no one's got a right attitude, my experience has been personal, it has been changing, and will keep changing for the better.

Meds cover wide varieties of symptoms, so this is like at least two folds in the acceptance of one's condition. One may accept what manual/bible (of mental kind) says or others may ignore the stories written about a person and see medications as just what they are, which would be called some controlled substances that assist a person's living.

Why would anyone be off meds when they think it might help? It's affordability of stable environment in physical sense. I would do more in depth research if I could afford the time and effort, I don't gamble. The FDA approval doesn't mean much for the quality of life one could possibly get. It's not like Marijuana/Alcohol even Tobacco safe, the reaction will be quite radical. My stance towards medication is almost the same as the time I joined this website, I was on and in search for best meds! And I've lost my faith.

I could be just logically ill... The conception of the idea that our 'mind' can definitely be ill is just poetic, it should remain in brain science business. APA's been wilding by saying 1 in 3 or 4 people are mentally disordered without physical proof, if that much diseased brains are around, then wouldn't the CDC be on it? Who would be so prejudiced against diseased organs? Ethical attitudes/understandings of any disease on any part of the planet is different. Exceptionalism is cultural, what we care is what we could see through our moral lenses.

I prefer the state that tries to assist to kill me rather than the one tries to assist to torture me. I stay off no matter what, hope this is a promise to myself. (I can't order to obey me, if I'm not inside of my head. Em(p)ty minded, maybe this is the person i been looking 4.)