It is very hard, not to think, "what the hell is the point". I have had a long time depression going on. There used to be very few days I could say I'm not feeling depressed. Now I'm looking at it a bit differently, maybe some gratefulness even in the worst times, so I look at it as learning. Learning what works and what doesn't work for me. It has taken me years to appreciate even the worst of it, I guess maybe appreciate isn't the right word. Acceptance? Best wishes, I hope you benefit from your time here as I have.