I would be very angry and sad if a therapist said this to me. I would want them to be able to handle my emotions calmly without getting defensive and angry back. However, I recognize that this isn't always possible. If we want them to have real caring feelings toward us, it seems reasonable that they might also have real negative feelings toward us. And much as I hate sitting with my feelings, someone saying "I will talk to you about this, but I need to calm down first," is a healthy way to handle anger.

I guess if I were in this situation, I would write down as much as I could...just to get the feelings out, including my feelings of anger and hurt and disappointment that the therapist wouldn't talk to me about the problem when it happened. I probably wouldn't send it to her, but I would bring it to the next session to help me talk about the problem.