Quote:
Originally Posted by NativeSky
I've been seeing my T for about 2 years, and to be fair, I like my T's firm boundaries. I respect them. They make me feel safe. But sometimes it feels like he holds tighter boundaries with me compared to his other his clients.
I try so hard to be a "good" client. T doesn't do texting or emailing so I call him only when there is a scheduling issue. I see him every 2 weeks, and if I'm to the point where I am severely struggling and can't wait, I will contact him to schedule a session in between but I won't say what's going on and he doesn't ask. I always pay on time. I'm rarely late, and even if I anticipate being 3 minutes late, I will call him to let him know.
I know Ts have different relationships with each client, but he seems so harsh with me at times. I understand not extending the time if I am the one who's late, but he won't even extend it if he's the one who's late. There have been times when I have been scheduled to see him on different days and times and noticed that with his other clients he goes the full hour. With me, it's 50 minutes and not a minute more. Even less on the occasions he's running late, or for some reason is just late a couple of minutes in coming to get me.
I have overheard him with different clients toward the end of their sessions. He's talkative, friendly, warm. Wishes them a good weekend or holiday and tells them to take care. He's never said those things to me after a session. We just confirm the next appointment and that's it. Not even a "Bye" or "Goodnight'. He keeps it so "professional" with me. So distant at times. I may be wrong, but sometimes I get the sense that I trigger him. That he keeps a professional distance not for my benefit but to protect himself.
It hurts because all I can think of at times is "What is it about me that you just can't stand?"
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A previous therapist said me all her clients can be difficult in one way or another and the one's attempting to be a "good" client can at times be the most trying for a therapist to treat.
Like someone else said, your therapist may be taking his cues from your reasons for taking a break. It's best figured out in a direct discussion with him.