Hi blubbrabbel, I would suggest you ask your boyfriend to come to a counselor that you choose, and talk with you about your relationship. Having an friendly outsider, not his therapist, to listen to the two of you, and help you communicate and set boundaries, might help you move forward. It sounds like you are worried about your relationship and that it is important to you. At a counselor, any unhealthy behavior will become obvious, and whoever shows willingness to consider changing will be interesting too.