I need to ask something very specific, outright. I've bounced around it, but now I just need to ask.

As we both said, I do not fit the diagnostic criteria for DID, because I do not black out and lose time. I want to be clear that, honestly, that's the only reason I don't think I have DID.

But, I need to just ask this plainly:
DO you believe that I would fit the criteria for DD-NOS (OSDD)?

Because that is what I feel that I fit.
I do not want that recorded anywhere. I do not want it 'official' -- but if we're going to talk parts, then I want to be very clear that I DO believe that I have distinct parts. That when I talk parts, I don't mean "everyone has parts" parts. I mean distinct parts that would fall under the category of "Parts" as defined for "DD-NOS/OSDD" -- that, literally, if I did lose time, I would fit the DID diagnosis and it's only because I don't lose time that I do not fit that diagnosis.

I need to know if this is NOT what you believe would fit me.
I also need to know if you think the "distinct parts" themselves are just products of "obsessive thoughts" or "obsession"

I am very very well aware that I have an issue with intrusive and obsessive thoughts -- but I do NOT feel that the parts I experience are products of those intrusive and obsessive thoughts.

....
also....
sorry, all the above comes out really harsh, and I know that... I'm kind of a mess at the moment...
less harsh now....

I mentioned today that I'd been thinking of asking if I could hug you...

Is that still an ok thing for someday?....

Or am I misremembering? Did you actually say you don't hug?

I'm sorry.
I keep swinging from rage to crying like a child so...I'm sure that's confusing.
I am really really trying to remember what you actually stated and what I actually saw from you sitting near me. Not anything else but that. I'm trying. I promise.