Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopeful Camel
I am angry today. Just sort of mad at the world. I am mad at my mental illness, and mad at having to find the energy every day to drag myself in to work and pretend I've got it all together and am rockin' along in my happy little life. I guess I'm having a pity party. I just feel alone in my reality. It is hard work being mentally ill. If we had cancer people would bring us flowers and give us sympathy for our illness. Instead we have to hide our illness and live in fear of being found out. I am scotch-taped together these days. I cry in the bathroom, in my office at work behind closed doors, in my car driving home. It seems it takes superhuman strength just to be...
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I hear you, and we have similar diagnosis, in my case its c-ptsd and bipolar 2.
I don't cry, I get frustrated. Yesterday I had a supervisor tell me on her last day that the reason she humiliated me and not my other supervisor is because she outranks me. I told my daughter that and she was like what an a-hole. A former employee of my company said my store was like the military. As I'm too old to join the military this is the closest I will get. I have my one on one with my manager in a few weeks and I'm going to mention this incident to her although the offending employee is now gone.
Its ironic that my other supervisor is allowed to have their moments, allowed to take breaks because they feel anxious, is allowed to walk of the floor because they can't deal, and I am not allowed to have any feelings whatsoever, except by the manager who wants me to tell people when they hurt my feelings. It is so utterly frustrating. I am very thankful that I now have another leo mama as a manager and again am trying to so utterly hard to stay focused on the positive, except for this stupid disorder makes it very hard to do so!