Dazed65, I wish for you to be not just "ok," but well. I empathize immensely.

You, right now, are a victim of emotional and physiological abuse. Please take a moment for that to sink in.

From reading your initial post, if you have proof of his lies and so forth a you stated, the man is engaging in both emotional and psychological manipulation and abuse via gaslighting, shifting the blame, convincing you of guilt, denial, marginalization (of your views and feelings,) costing debt (or control through money), and maybe other tactics. Abuse and manipulation are forms of control. The aforesaid behavior is unjustifiable and intolerable. Moreover, trauma might develop (or already is developing) because of emotional and psychological abuse.

Although you only shared part of the story, there seems to be possibly and probably more to him than just being abusive and manipulating.

If you are concerned for your well being, especially physically, are there are people (e.g. family, friends, coworkers) whom to tell about your situation? You should highly consider finding others for protection and safety.

There are at least two threads that are of similar topics for you to read if you choose in order to, maybe, find some helpful content, advice or any info to assist you.

Here are links to them:

one thread

second thread

You need to confront your decision on what to do (and not to do,) whether it is trying to keep your relationship, leaving (and taking steps,) and so forth. Please do not prolong, flee from or deny such a decision because your well being (physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual) and not just at risk, but some areas of your well being are already being damaged. Additionally, the damage will probably continue until action (e.g. the control stopping) is executed.