I am very sorry for you. And i am sorry to be blunt but your husband sounds very cold and unable to emphasize thus making him a candidate for having asshole syndrome.
How has he responded to emotionally charged issues before? Did you know about his behavior in these situations?
I suggest that you don’t communicate your emotional needs with him and just spent time away from him as clearly being around him is going to cause further emotional pain.
Do you work? Do you have kids? If you don’t then may be you could get away for at least few days? May be a little separation and reflection could be beneficial.?