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pinksoil said:
YO Perna -- you're out of therapy. It seems to have worked. Tell us the secret. Tell us when the pain becomes healing. Tell us or I will drive down I-95 to find out all the secrets you are hiding from us.

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It's easy. You know how you read a really good novel, especially a fantasy (not necessarily kid's like Harry Potter, a good adult one will do too) and all that happens to the characters happens to you too; Lord of the Rings will do? Well, keep reminding yourself you're stuck in a book like that Yes it hurts but you'll get the happy ending.

The book that did it for me was The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle. There's a longish quote in there by the hero character that I live by (and this book has ALL the good character types so there's someone for everyone to identify with) and the end line is, "The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story." So, when I'm in the middle of a horrible spot I keep asking myself, "Are you happy now?" (without any ugly, rude, sarcastic intonation :-) and if the answer is "No" then I keep sloughing through, doing the best I can, knowing that every 100 pages or so either comic relief or some refuge will show up where I can rest and lick my wounds and wish I could stay there forever. . .

It doesn't hurt to have the ONE time your T grabbed you and impressed heck out of you for all time handy in your memory either. Mine showed up in my head with knives out to block my way so I couldn't wander down the wrong path I was on. This was extremely early in therapy, I had to stop and figure out what I was doing wrong (nevermind who let her into my head!) and I was duly impressed enough to know, "Hey, this chick is GOOD!" From then on when we didn't agree or she was being difficult and I couldn't get her to see things correctly and I was miserable I just remembered when she rescued me from myself that time and how I had immediately recognized what she'd done and pledged I was going to keep this one and work as hard as I could, etc. and that helped me believe she "cared" and would do it again. I don't think they waste their magical powers? So, if you've seen any magic spent on your behalf, they care and aren't going to suddenly stop?