I've been seeing my therapist for a year-and-a-half I'm just now starting to be able to look him in the eye little bit. But I am trying to make a very conscious effort and it is so difficult. I managed to be able to look at him usually only when he's talking if I'm telling him something no I'm still looking at his shoes or around the room or out the window or anywhere else but at him. Usually everything I tell him it's shameful and that's what makes it so difficult plus the fact that I dissociate all the time and when I dissociate I can never look at him.