(Please see my previous posts to understand the background of this post)

I finally got my husband to go back to couples therapy today. The session was less than successful in that we left there having gained no ground. Now certainly I don't expect a miracle cure in one session, but the tone left me feeling hopeless.

I'm trying to look at things with an open mind and beyond all of the pain and anger that is in the forefront, but this particular issue is picking at my last nerve.

Here's the issue...

The therapist doesn't want to discuss the impact my husbands depression has had on our marriage.

This is a HUGE problem for me because my husband blames his depression on our marriage. More specifically on me personally. Where he has had depression since he was an adolescent, years before I entered the picture.

So the impasse is that I feel the depression is at the core of our problems. That it brought a specific dynamic to our relationship that has escelated for the past 18 years.

My husband on the other hand feels that while he had "problems and issues" and was "a pretty big jerk" (his words) prior to our marriage, that if he had married someone else, he would not have depression.

The therapist said that this issue was "too Freudian" and that his experience is to peel the problem back in layers which means focusing on the here and now and working backwards if that is where it leads.

While I can understand this on some level, I desperately need closure. Not to blame my husband per say, but rather the depression. To put a direction on the issue. Especially since this problem is not going to go away.

Thoughts? Perspective? Anyone?