Hey guys, so about a year and a half ago, I met my friend at work. I'll call him D. We had similar music tastes and we both smoked weed, so we hung out a bit. Over the months we would hang out more and talk more and all that.

I don't remember exactly when I found out, but eventually I found out that he cuts himself. I still wasn't very close with him, so I didn't say anything about it. As time went on and we opened up about our lives a little more to each other, I found out that he has a lot of issues with suicide and self harm. Over the past few months, he has taken pills and downed them with alcohol on several occasions. He self harms on his arm constantly. He had a mental breakdown at work and had to escorted out by police and taken to a psych ward. (I was out of town on a trip when this happened and had no idea until a friend I was with told me that they were talking to D, and he told them.)

He has been in and out of psych wards and hospitals several times.

He's a gay guy and uses Grindr a lot. He describes himself, somewhat jokingly, as a "hoe." He has a lot of one night stands. (When on a 4 or 5 day trip in L.A., he told me he had sex with 7 different guys.)

His last boyfriend, whom he met on Grindr, cheated on D constantly. D also cheated on his boyfriend. D tried to say that it was different bc his boyfriend had sex with random guys, but D was like "seduced my his ex and made a mistake." (Imo, they both cheated, they both ****ed up. It doesn't matter how many times or who it was with. 1 time is too many.) Their relationship was more about sex than anything else.

D would hear about his bf cheating, get all angry and sad, be untrusting for a while, then go back to normal. Eventually he said enough is enough (which honestly surprised me) and broke up with him. Shortly after met a guy on Grindr who was closer to D's age (other bf was older) and who had a job and was going to school (unlike the old bf). When I heard about the guy, me and other people encouraged D to keep up this relationship. After all, this guy was better than the old one (he has goals, a job, a decent looking future, he apparently was nice). About a month later, D says his bf broke up with him. The bf had been seeing another guy on the side and basically chose him over D. D and this guy had been on several dates together and of course had sex several times. But this guys reasoning was that he wasn't "dating" D. He was "dating" the other guy. And liked him more than D.

So this made D go into a f****g terrible downward spiral. Drinking and popping pills all over the place, self harming a lot. I hadn't heard from him in a bit, but wasn't too concerned. Sometimes I don't hear from him for a week. We are friends, but we aren't super close by any means. Then last night he texts me and says "so I assume you have heard or saw my Snapchat". I had not. He proceeded to tell me that he doesn't remember what he did, but he ended up in the hospital with 2 staples in his head after doing something to hurt his head really badly. He's afraid he will be fired from work. Over the past year he has called out several times bc of having anxiety, being in the hospital, not wanting his coworkers to see the bandage wrapped around arm, etc. And we recently got a new boss who is much less understanding and flexible with the employees. (Everybody hates him.)

I am going to hang out with D today and talk to him and maybe get an idea of what's been going on the past couple weeks.

Is there anything I can do or say to help him? He isn't the type of person to call a hotline. Its not that he wants to be alive and doesn't know how. He wants to die. Bc of the way every guy he has dated has treated him, the fact that his parents clearly dont care (he lives with them, but I wouldnt be surprised if they had no idea of what was going on.), he hates his job and his new boss, he doesn't have many friends who he hasn't had a falling out with and can barely trust (except for me and a couple others). I don't want him to die. But saying that means nothing to him.