Quote:
Originally Posted by tevelygo
Yeah, the thing is I would have to change my entire outlook on things. I would have to stop caring about things like justice and fair behaviour to avoid judging people's behaviour and treatment towards me (and towards others, too), and instead be all calm and mindful and accepting. I'm not trying to argue with you BTW, just thinking aloud about why this doesn't seem to work for me with people.
I might've misunderstood the idea with these ideas in the book though... Feel free to correct me if it's not like that. Just currently it doesn't compute for me: finding fairness important yet staying calm and unaffected if someone does bad treatment?
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I think can see what you mean. If I am in a totally upset mood, and someone has hurt me, and that's why I'm upset, I don't want to be all forgiving and compassionate and accepting of the situation. I don't think you have to stop caring about justice. But if its not helping, don't read it.

I have had to put those books down before sometimes. And I've always had a hard time understanding certain buddhist concepts even though I personally have found it more helpful than harmful. Its not everyone's cup of tea though. I think you're thinking of stoicism actually. Buddhism...from what I've experienced from it, accepts that people get angry and pissed and hurt. Its what you do with it, I guess. I will honestly tell you, I don't call myself a buddhist. I was just offering something that helped me. It doesn't mean it will necessarily help everyone.
As far as talking about my own pain and issues, I'm not really comfortable with doing that. Sorry. I think the main thing I want to tell you is that it will get better and emotions don't last. Even when you experience anger, is goes away. It comes back. It goes away. You don't have to be ok with it.

And that's ok.

(and the pain from being deeply hurt does lessen with time) Sorry if that's not what you want to hear or if its not helpful. Thats pretty much all I've got.