I wish for you to be well, XXIV, and empathize with you tremendously.

After reading your post and the text messages in your attached pics, you seem to be a victim of both emotional and psychological abuse. Please take a moment to attempt to consider that.

Abuse and manipulation of any kind is unjustifiable and intolerable. With that said, it also helps to be conscious of what abuse and manipulation he is demonstrating. He is lacking empathy, responsibility and self-blame (as in admitting he is to blame to how ever much of a degree.) He is also gaslighting you, marginalizing (your feelings and views,) dismissing you as the victim (even though you are) and probably other tactics.

Unfortunately, you are confused because he is more than likely attempting to confuse you through emotional and physical abuse, which is ultimately control, specifically controlling you. Evidently, his efforts to control and confuse you are currently successful.

As Skeezysks so kindly indicated, there is a wealth of info online to consult for such aforesaid topics and interconnected topics such as “should a person stay in a toxic relationship,” “what to do if one is married and/or has a kid with a person of ‘toxic’ behavior’” and others.

Please note that I humbly disagree with other members on “not understanding why you have been and are still with someone as he” because it is indeed explainable and, maybe, even justified. You might love him. He might (appear) to love you. Thus, you probably developed a bond with him (even if he were only pretending.) For you, the bond was/is of love, feelings and more. Additionally, the two of you are procreating a child. None of the aforesaid components are “easy,” “simple” and so forth.

The “justification” lies in whether the following applies to you or not. You might find your decisions on your relationship (as in to stay or not and so on) to be extremely difficult because you may have developed a trauma bond with this man. If so, you and your brain are literally biologically addicted to his (possibly feigned) love, his switching between abuse/manipulation and (appearing to) love.

Thus, you might stay with such a person because not only do you maybe love him, but you are also biologically addicted to him and his mistreatment of you. Also, you two are bringing a child into the world, which is nothing to be understated.

Unfortunately, there seems to be more to your boyfriend than merely being psychologically and emotionally abusive and manipulating. You ought to consider what is best for you, your well being, your child, his/her well being and more interconnected concerns.

The choice is yours.

As other members stated, you ought to consider leaving the relationship, leaving him and more. The possibility of staying is indeed an option, but you should think thoroughly about staying (and much, much more.)

As other members also typed, he additionally cheated on you, which exemplifies an issue in trust, whether it is merely of the past or not. Infidelity and other interrelated subjects should also be factors for your decision making.

If you wish for more info on any of the aforesaid topics, I am more than willing to provide links to web articles, medical blogs and other webpages of research.