tautologic,

Dealing with a spouse who is suffering from depression can be really overwhelming. Especially if they deny it and project the image of a super guy when in public. I have recommended the following book and message board several times.

Anne Sheffield Depression Fallout
http://www.depressionfallout.com/

It is a great starting point and deals specifically with the effects of depression on other family members. You will find that it is common for the spouse to be blamed.

You might consider calling or doing some background work on your current therapist. You need to make sure the T you are working with has a lot of experience with depression and its fallout on other family members.

Although I have a zillion problems myself, I first started T because my husband's depression was resulting in him verbally abusing my kids. Although I am not an expert in selecting T's, I did go to my first session with some very specific questions about her treatment approach regarding depression.

Finally, you mentioned in one of your other post that your T when you talked to him about what you were going through, did not provide you with much support. Is your couples T the same T?

My husband went to 1 therapy session and has refused to go again. I've since decided that I can't make him get help, but I can get help for me. That's what I'm doing now, helping myself.