When I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I was hesitant to accept the diagnosis. When I expressed doubts to my psychiatrist, she told me that this was a common issue among people diagnosed with bipolar disorder: being diagnosed with clinical depression is okay because it is an "acceptable" illness--the public knows something about depression. Many people think that bipolar equals "crazy," and are hesitant to take on this label. In reality, there is much in common between the two illnesses and one is not more or less acceptable than the others.

If you are hesitant about taking meds, let your doctor know so he/she can start you out slowly. Some doctors like to throw drugs at you, but most will respect your caution. Was it you whose doctor prescribed depakote? That's a fairly common first choice because it (in theory, at least) works fairly quickly. You might feel more comfortable if you can keep in contact with your doc so you can report any bothersome side effects.

Good luck.

-apislily