I had no intention of staying at that job. My father said it was a lazy job. I took a year out to try and decide what I really wanted to do. My father suggested going to technical college but I could never do engineering or learn a trade like a mechanic. I just wasn't wired for that. My father was determined that I had to become" A something" with a proper title. Dairy manager wasn't his idea of achievement.
My sports club made fun of me for the job too. I was proud that they had employed me. I applied several times I was tenacious. I felt like they were undermining me. They laughed saying imagine I end up working there the rest of my life. So it's no wonder that I held back on motivation at this job. I needed to buck up. I would have pulled my socks up. But I fell ill.
I was also spreading myself too thin. I was trying to keep brain active with college. I was training hard before I got the supermarket job. At least they paid me officially the proper wage and my ni. Unlike my measly cheque at teaching. He went around calling me a lazy part timer. My contract was 28 hours but I got most Sundays which took it to the 36 hours and I covered for holidays too. Its how retail operates.

It was painkillers. I was depressed off my backside. I was self medicating with alcohol. All the pressure got on top of me and I went OFF THE RAILS. Every one thought I was throwing my future away.