Só leigheas, I am sorry you are feeling scared and lonely.
Yesterday, I watched an episode of My Little Pony with my daughter. The show is for kids but it really cheers me up. Sometime getting outside cheers me up. I don't know if any of this will work for you but you are not totally alone. We are still friends though we have not been messaging each other for a while. I want to listen and understand you. You know I understand at least a little bit because this June--I will have been following your posts for two years. We know so much about each other. We like and accept each other. It makes me feel less alone.