I get that point Perna, but I feel very invalidated by that idea. Because it still allows my husband to believe that his depression isnt a factor.

After all we have been through and how much I have had to endure because of this disease, I have lost plenty. I feel that I deserve this. It is a closure for me which will allow me to move on to healing.

It is like having your mate cheat on you and then saying "well, the affair isn't important. What is important is what you are doing now in the relationship" Which btw is also a truth in our case.