Well I think it's really over. I'm on a BBW website and getting lots of attention but nobody good. He was better. I sometimes think my mom just wants me to be alone. So I stay dependant on her. I really hate my life. I'm getting depressed. I really loved him he looked better after dating me than his icky profile picture. I took good pictures of him and sent some to him I'm certain he'll use one in his new profile photo. I don't want to let him go yet i don't want to fight for him because I know he has big problems and mom is right.

I'm just really struggling with this relationship. I miss him terribly. I love him dearly. I think my mom rushed the end and that's the problem. I wanted to go see him but outside pressures prevented it. I'm so depressed now. I really don't want to be alone. I don't want to move out on my own. Than I'll be even more alone. I just want to be allowed to make my own decisions.