Well.. i really don't know what to say anymore, i'm only 17 years old life shouldn't be as bad as i've seen it get.. I've been depressed for as long as i can remember, I can't cry anymore, havn't cried for almost 3 years now. I can't even force myself to cry when i'm in this state of mind. I can't laugh at anything that everyone else sees thats funny, I can't see the bright side of anything anymore. I just can't help but to think about the point in life and why it has to be so hard. I've gotten so use to being serverly depressed it's all i know in life anymore, i look at my childhood pictures and realize how happy i was, then i look at myself now and ask myself "what happened?". Last year i thought i would be able to fix my depression up a bit by getting another girlfriend, well... I got one. For a while i was actually starting to get happy again, but guess i'm not suppose to be.. Honestly i don't even know what happy is anymore, all i know is pain.. I can see myself only knowing pain for the rest of my life. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore, nobody can help. I've talked to my friends, my parents everyone about my problems and it didn't help a bit. There's been tons of times in my life to where i've just givin up on life, and started living again. For what? I have no clue.. I'm so sick of living... For a second there i had this strong urge to cry but i just couldn't do it, i don't understand why.. I just don't know anymore. =\