All. The. Time. I’ve been in therapy for 6 months and this is something I struggle with just about every single week. Just last week we had a nice session where I was more vulnerable than usual and confessed to googling him. He was so very nice and even welcoming of my curiosity. I left feeling relieved, but now I find myself plotting and scheming, thinking of ways to skip my next session. It’s such a pattern with me now and I’m aware of it on an intellectual level (the whole anxious/avoidant thing) that I know I just need to make myself go each week. It’s quite exhausting though. You are not alone!