Well... I don't know what caused you to go in-patient to begin with. I've been in-patient twice. And I have to tell you those first few days, or even weeks, after coming back out, can be tough, to my way of thinking. Suddenly you're thrust back into the same environment that caused you to go in-patient to begin with.

In my case, I had nothing to do but think about the same things I was thinking about when I went IP. Plus I had to process the memories of what caused me to end up in the hospital to begin with along with those related to what I experienced while I was there.

The first time I came out of the hospital, after a couple of days sitting around staring at the walls, I decided to check out a partial hospital program. And I ended up going there for around 3 weeks as I recall. It wasn't necessarily wonderful. But it gave me somewhere to go, & something to do. And that was valuable.

You asked if you need more individual help. From my perspective, I think there are two answers to your question. The first is that, yes, more individual help (such as seeing a therapist, if you're not already doing so) would probably be beneficial. But, beyond that, I personally think it's important for you to find something to do during these initial days & weeks following your in-patient experience. A partial hospital program might be just the ticket if there is one you can get into. But, if not, then finding some other alternative is important, to my mind.

You also asked if your subconscious is sabotaging you. I don't really have the answer to that. But one thing I do at least think I know is that going in-patient is not a cure. It's just a temporary means of stabilizing you at a time when you, presumably, were not able to care for yourself. Whatever was going on with you before you went into the hospital is still likely going on with you now. So you need to figure out some way of continuing to work on it so that you can have the best chance of not ending up back in the hospital again. I wish you well...