it isn't important if you say it here... i was just thinking if you could identify what happened before (the trigger) and after (the payoff, so to speak)it would help you to understand what happened... for me the trigger seems to be anxiety and the payoff is the numb that takes that away...you didn't fail... just took a step backwards... i think for myself anyway... it isn't as important the number of days as it is to clean out the underneath stuff... does that make any sense?... i went 12 years without... and now it's back again much more intense then it has ever been... i went a long time... but didn't ever clean out the underneath stuff...lyn