(((((((((hugs)))))))))))

I just got onto my hubby's health plan and so I am starting over on dr's...i have a pcp, a nuero, a gyn, an ent surgeon, a psych and pretty soon a therapist...i was taken off the only 2 meds that worked for my legs cold turkey and went into downward spiral with pain being off the charts and muscle spasms...now my pcp says fibro and neuro says that is crap dx, then tells me i have painful polyneuropathy and most of my nerves are significantly damaged....ok you say i have painful illness and yet he told me 3-4 weeks to see how much the meds i have started for depression will help...i am so weak that even when i feel a bit better, just getting up and emptying the dishwasher lays me back up for an hour or 2. I had an MRI past saturday and keeping fingers crossed...doctors are odd, and i guess i am suffering the pain well enough for them so they dont have to treat the pain, it is like they are calling me a liar though...as if they dont believe that i am hurting. then the stupid thing my brain does is say you arent in pain, its all in your head, you are a loser and whiner and wth, forget it and move on!!!

am i crazy??? i feel that way sometimes...especially when i am told i shouldnt be hurting but i am; when i am looking at my hand and watching it twitch of its own accord; i am crazy cause i try to get some relief for pain and i guess by me not crying and ranting enough in fetal position means to them i am good to go...slap a happy face 'i seen the dr' sticker on her and run her out the door!!! Quick lock it before i find something else to complain about. I am sorry...i am beginning to hate doctors and how they make me feel...I know something is going on with my body and it is betraying me on so many levels, and i hurt and omg, no one helps...they just make me feel....stupid, hurt, angry, tired...so very tired. when should i give up, give in...crawl into a hole and wait till something better comes along...