What I appreciate most about my therapy in its later stages (not saying I'm quitting just saying that this second round of it in middle age is distinct from when I was in my 30's) is that I've learned to be more accepting about what other people say to me.

I used to be very hard on people, especially when they screwed up. This is a better problem than being silently resentful and/or uncommunicative. Better for me, not necessarily better for those not me. I found my voice a long time ago but I used it to shut people down, including my current T when I first started. I was forever correcting him and "schooling" him (as he said until I told him to stop using that word) and he used to say I liked to be "precise" in my words (and his). But I used to beat up other people, especially those closest to me, when they "wronged" me in some way, insisting on repeated and specific types of apologies and probably some subtle coercion to state things just the way I wanted.

I'm not sure how or why I changed but it was gradual. My son was growing up from a small child, and I'm glad now that I've learned to say my piece but also be able to hear what he's saying. Focusing on the message being communicated and being okay with that has been positive for relating to a teen-- which I don't think is terribly easy no matter what a sweet child or honest relationship you have. My relationships with people are easier, more open, more fun, and I can't remember when I've last had an interpersonal conflict with the exception of the power hungry and controlling person who thinks she has something to say about my soon-to-be-quit job.

But the change is about that thing of "hurting your feelings". My T has never stated this directly, consistent with the way he (or I) does/do therapy. Instead, he's helped create the space (I would not give him even most of the credit) where I can truly observe myself and the impact of what I say. That has helped me change in ways that have been good for me.