Thanks for explaining, tautologic. It sounds like your H still has mood problems and needs some help with that (either meds, therapy, etc.). I think it would be very hard to patch up a marriage in that situation. I can tell you have put up with a lot. I'm sorry. This all sounds like so much.

Do you know if YOU want to stay together? One thing my T had me do once was make a list of reasons I wanted to stay in the marriage and reasons I wanted to leave. I seemed to be stuck in the decision process so he thought this might help. It was a real eye opener to me that I could rapidly scrawl out 25 really good reasons to leave the marriage, and then had to think hard about a half dozen or so reasons to stay. I guess I just wonder, do you want to stay in the marriage? Does your H want to stay in the marriage?

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He also expressed that it is not how T is normally done when there is a supportive spouse involved.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I'm not sure what you mean by that. Do you mean that he believes your therapist is taking an unusual approach in couples therapy? If so, what does he think would be better? (And I'm not sure what you mean about the supportive spouse. Is that you? That you are supportive of the marriage continuing? Is your H supportive also?)

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I'm asking for it to be validated.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Maybe that will come in your individual therapy sessions and your T will provide the validation. Somehow, from what you've written, I doubt your H will provide this.