I often feel the same. I wish we lived in the same location so we could meet and talk in person.
Look, you are not failing your son. I am not saying this to invalidate your feelings. I am saying this because it literally takes a village to raise a child. My parents tried very hard but my mom couldn’t stop my dad’s alcoholism or the war in my home country and the violence came with it; nor they could stop the years of sexual abuse that i went through and/or the years of bullying that surrounded me or my MI or my cancer. Is it their fault what i have been through? Of course not. I do feel extremely alone and PC has been helping me. Please come to the chat room and join us in the evenings. It is quite nice, actually.
As far as MJ, yes quitting it creates digestive problems so please do not be stressed out about it. Although please add potassium, calcium and magnesium to your diet. It is very important to consume these while quitting MJ. Go and buy these, now.
And lastly, I am also trying to quit MJ. It is not easy.
You and I have a lot in common, MJ, chemo, being an immigrant and the instability that comes with it.
I care about you, Tecomsin. Reach out anytime you want. I am in the chat room at nights. just join us.