Yes, I constantly self-sabotage because I can't imagine not having my T there once a week. The consistency of therapy keeps me grounded and makes me feel safe and cared for...sometimes I think that the only reason I'm feeling better is because of this feeling of someone having my back...not necessarily because life is getting easier/better. If I were to give up therapy, I would fall right back down the rabbit hole, pointy boots and all. It's certainly a weird feeling and one I did not expect before I started seeing my T. I'm still trying to figure out its paradoxical nature: I want to be happy but I also want to keep seeing T. Are the two mutually exclusive? :-/