Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Laura
I have very few friends because of this stupid illness. I lost all my work colleagues when I lost my job. I've lost 6 friends since 2012 just cause they can't deal with my moods when I'm depressed I'm apparently too difficult to handle I go in circles and when I'm manic I'm too difficult to handle cause of my actions.
When I was manic recently I confided in my remaining 2 friends. They made me contact my mental health team as they said I was in crisis. I wasn't but I followed their advice. I texted them the outcome.... no response. I saw my Nurse for the last time as he is retiring and we spoke about my 'crisis'.... again I texted them and again no response. That was over a week ago.
We have had sever snow and temperatures have hit -13 so I texted them and said be careful on the roads as both are drivers. Still no response even though they have received and read ALL my messages. It's done on WhatsApp so I can see.
I'm so frustrated at myself for being such a loser. I was in tears last night cause I'm so alone in this s@@@@y world. I just want friends who know who I am with and without mental health. They both have known me over 10 years. But I'm afraid I have burnt my bridges with them. A girl I chat to online said to contact them again as they are on FB constantly. So I contacted my friend through FB messenger and she read the message but didn't respond. I'm feeling really hurt.
Do others find bp has ruined their relationships?
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I made the mistake of confiding in a very close friend recently shortly after I was diagnosed. I thought she would understand because her sister is an undiagnosed but classic BP I and I thought she would not be threatened by it because I am BP II, fairly mild (at least in the symptoms I'm not able to internalize and hide), and would not be likely to treat her like her sister does. Also I've known her for more than 10 years and been close for most of that.
At first she tried to convince me I didn't have it. Then when she "got it" she started monitoring me, checking in with me several times a day. Would not believe when I said I was ok and would tell her if I needed help. I was just lonely in the diagnosis and wanted to talk to someone in person who (I thought) would understand.
Now she's distancing herself. I feel like I should have known better than to trust another non-bipolar person with this information. Everyone on here is great. But I do long to look someone in the eye who really gets it (other than my pdoc) and have a conversation about the mutual challenges we're facing. It's not fair that it's this stigmatized and isolating.