I am sorry this happened.
I usually suggest:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Phone: 1-800-273-8255
Online:
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Available 24/7
I hope this is a good resource.
I am sorry you are distressed. Hopefully, you have learned some coping skills and can keep yourself safe. If not, go to the nearest ER.
Please keep yourself safe.

WC