Thank you everyone! I made it through the night by seeking out a local community crisis center and have a appt to see my T Weds. I don't recommend to ANYONE the National Suicide Hotline, what a joke. My Ptsd symptoms were out of control yesterday and not even my tool kit items were working ( first time in awhile that this occurred). I reached out on here and am so grateful you all reached back. That means so much to me because during this healing process I've lost everyone because they just don't understand. Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️