I just need to get this out.

I'm a full time student. More than full time really... I work pretty much every hour that I'm awake and take very little free time. I do this because I'm serious about my work and I'm given more to do than I could ever possibly finish. But being the good student that I am, I always try.

I can feel myself slipping again. I can once again sense the cosmic battle between the forces of good and the Entity. This is so much bigger than me. I'm at the center of a struggle of good versus evil, and right now evil is winning.

I should take some time off but I probably won't. I met pdoc this morning and she told me to just monitor what's going on, but I worry about this getting more out of control. I might need to reach out again sooner.

I don't know how I'm supposed to survive this. Grad school is hard enough without SZA/Bipolar and with it it seems almost impossible. I'm too stubborn to just give up but sometimes I wonder if I should. Take some kind of less stressful job and live day to day.