So...I have an appointment for a session with him on Thursday. I told him that if he was terminating me, I wanted it to be in person. He responded that he knows he started this but that I always take things to the extreme and when I asked him what that meant, he said the termination statement.

When it wasn't a possibility, I wanted to meet with him more than anything. Now that it is...

I'm scared.

I'm scared that he's going to cancel last minute again.

I'm scared that if I tell him that he can't do this stuff to me and still be my t, he'll get mad and leave instead of apologizing and trying to talk me out of leaving.

I'm scared that he's going to dump me before I have a chance to say anything and I'm going to cry in front of him. It took me years to be OK with doing that and now it's a nightmare for me again.

I'm scared that I'm not even worth a t who treats me like he has been recently, let alone a t who treated me nicely like he did in the past.

I'm really scared - feel sick to my stomach and start shaking every time I think about Thursday.