My son went into recovery for addiction six months ago. He agreed to check into a facility and then went into transition house. The facility asked him to try out for becoming a counselor and he made it into their program which gives on the job training, benefits and further education. The facility brought him up for me. They gave him a way of living, support, direction, a moral compass, company, food, shelter, and space to be himself. I didn't do this for him when he was growing up; I couldn't, and I wanted to with every part of me. I failed as the mom I wanted to be and succeeded as the mom he needed, by changing, and putting boundaries on what behavior I would accept, and by guiding him with love to this facility, and by remaining steadfast in my new way of supporting him. I have to let go of the imagined mom I wanted and never had, and tried to give my son. It is nice seeing my son as he is. I will have to find another healthier way to love myself as well.