Quote:
Originally Posted by QuietMind
T,
The Vulnerable Child part keeps wishing "she" could sit in your lap and have you stroke "her" hair. It's so childish of me. I know you say to be kind to the Vulnerable Child but I don't like these feelings. I know I'm supposed to use my Adult Self to comfort "her" but "she" wants you involved too. I just want to beat "her" up sometimes. Why do stupid imagery exercises again? It's just stupid unrealistic fantasy to fool myself like I did as I grew up. You're never going to stroke my hair and I'm an adult and too old for this stupid child feelings. And ewwww, why am I such a touch hungry freak? I never used to want affectionate touch. Stupid stupid feelings like this need to die. I should hurt myself every time I want safe touch from you. I'm so dirty and disgusting.
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QM, I wish I could lend you the compassion I feel when I read this. I remember when my T said the words "little mostlylurking" (same idea as Vulnerable Child) and I felt like I'd come right out of my skin with disgust at the thought of her. He said I'd have to accept her one day and I said "Really? Can't I just disown her?" But after a while (okay, it was months, I'm sorry to say) I did come to see her as just an innocent kid who had done nothing wrong, and that she wasn't disgusting at all. I hope that the process goes quickly for you QM. And a hug from me to your Vulnerable Child.
