Tara, Sorry to hear you're struggling to cope. Don't forget about all your success yesterday. Making lasagne -- that's quite a project! From your sig it sounds like you really like music. Don't forget about listening to music to cheer yourself up. I like music too. I like it because you can't quantify it. It's mysterious. You can't say why you like a song exactly -- you just like the sound. I hope your day improves -- cutting your Ativan dose by half sounds like a good idea. I hope you'll resist ODing. I've ODed several times and it just made things worse -- a panicked trip to the ER, withdrawal, doctors being reluctant to re-prescribe meds, the expense of paying for them again. It accomplished nothing.