Totally understand where you are coming from. Had kind of the same experience the other night. Normally I have been a beer addict. The other night I ended up irresponsibly hanging out with a girl that I KNOW is a bad influence. Not that I don't drink just on my own but, she usually intensifies it. Next thing I know - three shots of tequila later, and I have all these people at my home "partying down". I look back and see how easy it would have been to say "no". But, I didn't. I don't beat myself up about it. Then next day I was sooo hungover..................I decided I needed soul-searching and rented a hotel room in a neighboring city just to "get away" and analyze what had happened.

At that point I have made a conscious decision to end it. It has to stop. I feel guilty for some of the things I did that night. I was disrespectful to a few people. Upon returning from the hotel room, I apologized to my friends and family. The bad influence girl had her sister to call and "check on me" and I simply told her to pass the message that I am through with her and her influence.

This is what WE know. People like you and I. We like to drink. We use it as a cure to stress, anxiety, happiness, and sadness. Alcohol in our mind can cure any emotion. The fact is it often causes these emotions and in turn, we drink more to cover them up and escape reality. We need to face them head on - like a strong soldier.

Don't beat yourself up about the incident. Understand that it was wrong and it made you be a person that disgusts you. BUT - DONT HARP ON IT. If you do, it gives you the feeling that you want to escape again. Understand that you did it, it was wrong, and there HAS to be a CHANGE.

I can't say anything about the spiking the drink at work. Don't think my alcohol addiction has ever gone that far.

From the bottom of my heart I wish you the best of luck! STAY STRONG!