I have been doing the whole online dating thing. I am in my 30s, but have never had a boyfriend. I have been looking for a guy who has immigrated from the same country as me and speaks my native language. However, I'd want him to Americanized because my culture (and country of origin) stigmatize mental illness.

My therapist suggested I branch out and give other guys a chance so I went on a date with this guy who doesn't match these characteristics. We ended up having some things in common, like interests in music and movies. We like similar cuisines and we both have not traveled much. He's laidback, which is nice. He wasn't turned off by my fish allergy. All the dozen or so guys from my culture whom I have gone on dates with in the past year have been visibly turned off by my allergy and never asked me for a second date.

This issue is is that I'm not attracted to this guy. He's a nice guy, but he's not physically attractive to me. However, when I try to imagine that he has the same cultural background as me and/or speaks my native language, I feel attracted to him.

I've been on 5 dates with him and he texts me a lot to tell me he is thinking of me or that he misses me or to express that he really likes me. I kind of dodge those remarks and respond with something else. Everyone in my life is telling me that I need to break it off with him if I'm not attracted. The thing is that I am scared that I will continue pursuing guys of my cultural background only to be rejected when they learn about my allergy or mental illness or physical illnesses. I don't want to miss my chance to have a marriage or a family because I refused to accept a guy who didn't share my cultural background. At the same time, I'll never know if I could have gotten a guy who matched what I was looking for because I can't be looking for other guys or dating them if I continue to date this guy.

I don't know what to do and it's all sending my anxiety through the roof.