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spiritual_emergency said:
What is it supposed to do for you anyway?



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According to the letter i got about it it is supposed to be a 'step back into work' activity that can lead to further study,voluntary or paid work depending on needs and aspirations.
Most of the people there have worked previously whereas i haven't. In fact i have always been told that work was not a viable option for me and indeed the last time(over 25 years ago) it was suggested i was sent somewhere to be assessed as to what i had an aptitude for my then pdoc
wouldn't sanction it.
The course is probably a good one for those who have a previous work history or are still young but at 51 and with no previous work history along with avoidant issues/anxiety (long term) which has been practically ignored i just feel like i have been thrown in the deep end .
It is not that i am lazy though i am not a workaholic either but the thought of going to work terrifies me because of the thought of making a fool of myself and not knowing how to interact and being under pressure.
If someone gives me something to do without any pressure attached amongst people i feel comfortable and safe with i am ok.
I can not see anyone realistically employing me but even the thought of voluntary work (which is a more realistic option) is scary especially as a lot of the voluntary work involves considerable interaction with others ie helping out in charity shops etc.
If i could do something in the background i wouldn't feel so nervous/scared.
It is hard when you feel you should be doing something but you are scared of making a fool of yourself/getting things wrong/have difficulties initiating conversations and making small talk.

The last possible option is to do some studying at the local college -again the avoidant/social anxiety issues make the thought of that nerve racking
even without various cognitive difficulties i have which centre round problems with organising/planning(executive functioning) and critical thinking.
People tend to think i am capable of a lot because of my verbal abilities which are in the high and above range in contrast to my performance/visuospatial abilities which are considerably less.
I do not know what the situation is elsewhere but here in the UK they tend to dismiss the idea that you can be intelligent and yet still have cognitive/learning difficulties .
The last time i did any studying was for A levels which i never took due to being admitted to hospital. I really struggled with those in comparison to O levels due to the problems with critical thinking etc.
If i could get recognition for those difficulties and help then studying would not be totally out of the question. However i do not hold out much hope of that happening as my cognitive difficulties have always been overlooked on account of being reasonably verbally skilled/articulate ( I performed very well up to about 9-9.5 then it was a gradual decline which really hit home between doing reasonably well at O levels and then studying for A levels.)