"I can't" is completely different than "I won't" and she seems to be using "I can't" in place of "I won't"....

This is more directed to your duaghter than to you... But perhaps it will help you as well.

"I can't" is one of the most powerful mental things you can say.

"I won't" is almost just as bad. You are REFUSING to give something a shot to even try it. I can always accept when I fail, granted I take it hard, but I would rather fail than to have never even given it a shot. And even then you never say you can't do something. You always I don't know how. It is a learning experience, and there is always something to learn.

"If you do what you have always done, you'll get what you have always gotten." -Tony Robbins

So if you have always told yourself "I Can't" you never will. Changing a mindset is one of the hardest things to do. But just like learning to walk, or talk, or ride a bike you have to take it one step at a time. Instead of saying "I can't do the dishes." It should be, "I can do one dish."

"I am nothing."
Try looking in the mirror with sticky notes and READ THEM out loud to yourself, "I am strong." "I am beautiful." "I have ADD, but I CAN do this."

Make a quote book each night write one thing down. One thing that leaves your day on a positive note. In the morning READ that quote back to yourself to get a positive mind.

You say "I can't-" "I fail at-" and you are putting yourself in a bad mindset for the rest of day. I'm not saying doing everyday task is not difficult. But saying I can't.... well it blocks your potential.

You reach for the sky, the moon, or the stars your whole life. And while life throws curve balls, and gives lemons, and some paths are harder than others the second you say you can't do something you are setting yourself up for failure.

Your Daughter has to WANT to pull herself together, and sadly I am not getting that vibe from her from how you are posting. I could be dead wrong, and I am sorry for saying that. It takess time and it takes baby steps to get your head to think positively, which I feel she is a bit pessimistic. If she wants change to happesn she has to start with herself and her mindset.

That means she has to instead of saying I can't over and over to herself tell herself what she CAN do.