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Originally Posted by shakespeare47
Feeling kinda down this morning. I have a lot to do and very little energy- it probably doesn't help that I'm sick- not terribly, but my head is congested and I've got a slight fever.
I'm dealing with the fact that I have some pretty good evidence that I've been the subject of gossip in the small town I live in. There has even been some harassment. I'm trying to decide if I should just keep ignoring it, or if I need to find some way to put a stop to it. I've been keeping a record of blatant harassment.
I want to get my taxes done, I want to get a project for school done, and I want to do some writing. I'm just feeling overwhelmed right now.
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I am sorry you feel harrassed.
I am currently reading a book called
Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments and Bad Behavior It argues that studies show most people don't speak up when someone violates their expectations because they feel like speaking up will create a new problem. And it can create a new problem when we speak up while we are in "attack" mode. However, if the gossip is really bothering you then it would be best to take one person aside and explain what specific thing you heard that they were gossiping about. Describe to them (only one person--never confront an entire group) what you heard and then ask a sincere question like: "Is this what happened?" It won't work well if you have only heard vague things or assume their intent was bad (even if it might have been). Avoid going over the same things over and over (state what you heard only once). Hopefully they talk. Use pregant silence to give them a chance to explain. If they start explaining, really listen and try to understand their POV. There is probably more techniques but I have read less than half the book.....
This is an uncomfortable problem!