HD, I feel your pain daily. I wish I knew where to find the magic to stop the involuntary, recurring, invasiveness of traumatic memories, thoughts, flashbacks. I don't want to remember any of this and I successfully kept most of it locked away in my unconsciousness for decades.

I hate having to re-experience trauma that I'd be better off forgetting permanently. I wish it was a "CHOICE", then I could control it. Since I joined this site, I have discovered that no matter your worst moment or day, there is ALWAYS some member on here who has been in your shoes. Beats hearing "you just need to stop thinking about that stuff", etc. Might not cure ya, but I know when I read posts from others who could be writing MY thoughts, emotions it does make me feel better knowing that there are members here who understand exactly how you feel in a moment of crisis. I hope you are having better days!!! I know I am looking forward to better days myself.