Oh nightdream! (((((((((nightdream))))))))))) Good for you for changing number so quickly!!

Family is not family!! Just because some people may share genetics with you does not make them your family. Nobody deserves to live with abuse ever. You survived years of this abuse and have now escaped after much internal struggle. Nothing says you have to keep contact with them.

I disagree with your husband. I wish I knew offhand of a book or handout for him to read about the lasting effects of abuse. He says he knows how much they hurt you but then goes on to say family trumps an abusive past? F* that!!!!!!

That is not supportive. Let your husband know this is NOT negotiable for you at all. It took tremendous courage to make the break you made earlier this year. I'm so proud you did!! Now your husband needs to continue supporting your safety.

Genetics and surnames do not a family make!!!

My continued hope for your safety and healing nightdream.

p.s. this is not difficult for me to understand as an abusive ex in my past left me with that fear of the next knock on the door or ring of the phone