I've gone through depression before. But it's been such a long while since then, but recently, I have been unmotivated. I haven't gone to classes, showered, or even really gotten up to do much of anything. I haven't changed clothes. I just feel like some things aren't worth it, so I don't do them. Lack of motivation comes to mind.

Now last time's I've been depressed I've felt this terrible guilt for doing all these things and being such a 'burden' to everyone around me. This time, I feel those things, but not to the extent I used to. I honestly just don't care that much this time around. I don't give a %#@&#! about missing my classes (which I used to really care about) or not seeing friends or calling family. Everytime I see them, they go on and on about whats wrong and why are you being this way and blah blah blah. I don't want to be around that or hear that, and I don't want to be a burden, so I avoid it.

I don't know. I guess I'm asking if I'm 'really, truly' depressed but I kind of already know the answer. I hate myself for being this way, especially after feeling so great for so long. I'm such a mess, I wouldn't be surprised if my friends thought I was disgusting.

I suppose this post turned from a "Am I..." to a "I am, nevermind!" Lol.

I just don't know what else to do. Waking up is getting harder and harder, and I'm feeling more and more resigned.