As soon as I walked into her office, T immediately apologized for the e-mail issue we had last week and explained that it was totally her misunderstanding and that I had done nothing wrong. That was a huge relief for me and a weight off my shoulders! We talked about a lot of things that I mentioned in my e-mail to her, similar topics to last week–– except this time I got much more emotional. I could feel myself getting angry, and sad, and letting those emotions out vocally instead of just laughing and pushing them aside like I usually do. And probably 2/3rds of the way through the session, my brain just... shut down. I totally couldn't form words or speak in coherent sentences for a good five minutes. T said it was probably because I had such an intense wave of emotion that my amygdala reacted and cut access to the prefrontal cortex. It was so strange to feel so much and have such a physical reaction, because when I'm not in therapy I'm stuck in such an emotionally stunted environment... it was nice to feel, though. T asked me what was going on in my body when my mind turned off, and I said I felt like I might cry but that I didn't want to talk about it or sit with it, and she understood. And I am so grateful for that. It's a process to learn how to feel and let myself be emotional again. Rough day, but I felt good leaving.