How do I recover from ‘him’ and everything that happened? How do I do it? I don’t think you know, either.

I need the intrusive thoughts to stop.

I need help feeling my anger about him. Can you help me feel my anger? Intellectually, I know I’m angry at what he did to me...but I mostly just feel sad. All the time, I’m just sad. I can’t find the energy to do anything. And life is passing me by.

I want to feel powerful. Can you help me feel powerful?

And I feel alien. Does abuse cause that? I feel like a huge chunk is missing...like a HUGE chunk of DNA is missing. I’ve always been alien. Whatever happened started early, very early. What could have happened to me to make me...like this?

And it’s weird, I’m torn in two..I feel childish. But I know I’m an adult.
*sigh*