I think that the question of time, was more to make the point that perhaps the situation is more exaggerated in youOme’s mind. And of course it would be because she’s the one that is not getting the affection that she needs.

I must firmly state that I really do not believe that people can have random casual sex, or perhaps I should rephrase that, I do not think that people can have HEALTHY random sex; neither physically or mentally. As you stated “sex has it’s importance..there’s a connectivity there that we have been lacking for a while now.” you’re not going to get any connectivity from a WBTM (a term perhaps before your time.)

I really do wish that I could be of more help, you seem to be unhappy with all areas of your marriage and that is very sad. A healthy marriage is a wonderful thing, there are ups and downs of course. Have you and your husband discussed this? (I think you have based on the “should we have a baby thread”) It sounds like there might be hope if you’re communicating. The next step is healing a very ill relationship. Both partners need to take stock of what there are contributing and what they are draining from the relationship. IMO that is best done with a counselor, pastor, life-coach etc.

I really do hope that you're able to figure this out.